Forgive me friends, family & esteemed client base, for I have sinned. I have not written a newsletter since the last friggin millennium! And I have had sooo much to say in my cryptic way about so many events: the new studio, the new rep (Jacqueline Dedell 212-741-2539), the new website, the Miller campaign, Hasbro, the ESPN installations, Dave's Digital advancements & enhancements, the latest scratchy vinyl discoveries, my appointment to the board of directors of the Museum of Naugahyde Furniture & Accessories, blah blah blah. Exciting fer sure, but all of that pales in comparison to the two single most important events of the past few years, namely the birth of our two darling daughters, Eleanor Grace (AKA 'Ella') who emerged on 10/24/98, and the newly minted Claire Elizabeth, born 1/30/01!! Suffice to sat this is why I haven't had any time to write this useless drivel! I guess that means we are both lucky! Don't ask. I would likely be lying anyway. No photographer in their right mind would give you a straight answer to this question. So the next time you ask the question: "Are you busy lately" and they answer: 'Well, I could be busier'... What they are really saying is 'I haven't worked in months, my credit cards are maxed, & I'm waiting on tables at night' And if they answer: 'Well, I'm kinda busy'... What they really mean is: 'I'm shooting a Wedding in Bayonne this weekend'. And if they dare to answer: 'Are you kidding? I've been working night & day on a big project!'... You can be assured what they really mean is: 'I'm shooting a J. C. Penney catalog.' I'm sure you are all wondering, 'Dave, have you checked out this Napster thing'? You would think that I, the man with the insatiable appetite for music, would have been into Napster from the beginning. It was not until we had a DSL line installed in the studio that I began downloading in earnest, just to fill out the 'holes' in the collection, y' unnerstand... I am proud to say that I have just recently completed downloading EVERY MUSICAL RECORDING EVER MADE, EVER. That is every version of every song by every artist on every instrument in every language in every format. I have calculated that, at normal playback speeds, it would take me approximately 2,114 years of 24/7 listening to enjoy them all. Well, frankly, I don't have that kind of time. So I have devised special 'speed listening' software which enables me to listen at 9,984 RPM's. This will, for example, make it possible to listen to the entire Brandenburg Concertos by J. S. Bach in less than 3 seconds! I am estimating that I will be able to listen to EVERYTHING in less than 2 months of continuous play! To facilitate my endeavor, I am working with a crack team of Silicon Valley scientists who are designing a tiny mp3 player (smaller than a grain of rice & able to hold 6 trillion GB), which will be cleverly implanted into the earlobe of my choice! Now that's entertainment! We get many requests for back issues here at the studio. As a matter of fact, issues # 1 thru 1,972,325 are completely sold out! Issue # 1,972,326 is still available, but only in paper form. Please feel free to request a copy & we'll send it right out to ya, as we are grateful to get rid of them.